A Prayer

Written By: Anna Bryant

God!

this stretching hurts.

why do you let all the pain happen?

why do you let me get hurt, over and over again.

you have all power, yet,

you let that board hit me in the head.

you let my vision blur. 

the world has lost all stability, my head is swimming, and nothing can calm the sea in my stomach from raging.

you say you love me but there is so much pain.

I know you are with me and sometimes that makes me feel worse.

I know you can stop it all in a breath but the pain continues. 

The Creator of the universe who loves me, but won't stop the pain.

how is this preparing me?

how does this make me stronger?

Words cut deeper than the board could. 

"Why do you get hurt all the time?"

"Maybe we should put you in bubble wrap?"

Each time, I fight the doubt that you, The Creator, might not care.

I look around and see others who have not been through so much and I try hard not to envy them. 

(A Breath)

You are constant and I know this.

you are faithful and true

the winds of the world whip around me and all I want to do is run to you. 

A physical you. 

I know you are listening and you care.

you must have a reason of why I am here.

here in the pain and the hurt. 

here in the pounding of my head.

As I was in the ER and it was the last place I wanted to be.

Daddy if this is where you want me to be then help me to surrender through the pain, 

through the confusion of feelings, 

give me strength because I have none. 

There is a reason for this time, help bridle my heart to your will.

Give me the strength to stand once more in your presence. 

I will praise your name.